Admitting to the Caregiver Title

Rosalyn Carter shared ‘there are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.’ 

If you are of the belief this won’t apply to you at some point in your life, I fear you may be incorrect.

Although I have been my daughter’s caregiver since birth (she’s now 38), I never really thought of myself as a caregiver. I was just “her Mom”. I’m not quite sure why I felt that way when considering each time she had to go to ER, stay in the hospital, or have surgery I did most of the speaking. I was the one telling the doctors what symptoms she experienced, how long, what she’s had in the past, etc. Also the one giving the medication, tending to wounds or surgical sites, noting symptoms, at one point administering IV medication daily for 6 weeks, (Yeah, that one will live with me for a while) Not because I was interjecting; but, more because she couldn’t articulate which minimized their understanding of the situation.

When Mom was diagnosed the weekend her triplet sister passed away in 2018, we’d already started living together. It was a long ago agreement that she would not have to live alone once my Dad passed. Just as it was a long ago promise to my Dad that I would never put my Mom in a home. As I look back I think, God really does work in mysterious ways.

Mom care has been almost 8 years. Tiauna, 38. I still provide a level of care for Tiauna I truly had no idea she would need. I’m not sure why I thought as an adult she wouldn’t continue to have issues, but apparently that’s what I thought. As I age, I am concerned about the type of care I will be able to continue to provide in the future.

In this PBS special titled “The Silent Suffering of Caregivers” from 2023 truly hit home for me. And yes, I have already ordered her book. The belief that someone else can just walk in and provide care as I would, is just insane in my mind. Maybe that’s my ego talking. I cannot fathom having Mom being under someone else’s care knowing how she already feels about her decline. Each day is a bit difficult and the thought of her waking up without family surrounding her is non-negotiable. I told – yes, told – my brother and sister when my Dad passed away, if Mom ever got sick we will use every dime Mom has to take care of her in home. We’ve been incredibly blessed to do so.

Take a moment to watch the video (and maybe read the book). I’d love to hear your thoughts, especially if you are currently providing care.

Sending you the biggest hug! ♥️